I saw my therapist today. We talked a lot about working on the physical things that I can control and will help my depression, since I don’t really have any control over the situational or emotional factors. We talked about good food, exercise, more sleep.
As for the emotional issues, I’m not sure. She told me what I probably needed to hear, but not what I wanted to hear. I don’t know exactly what I wanted to hear; maybe I just wanted permission to give up and stop trying to get better. Instead she told me to keep trying, to push through and to be strong. I want to. It’s just so much work and I’m so worn down.
Lately I’ve felt weird around Mike, like I don’t know how to act. I’m worried that my depression will hurt our relationship like last time and drive him away or hurt him. My therapist said to focus on being the strongest, healthiest me I can, to try not to burden him (my words, not hers) more than necessary for now and to try to work on building good memories and happy time together whenever possible.
She also told me to postpone any major decisions for a few days. She’s hoping that if I get some sleep and exercise I’ll feel better enough in a few days.


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