Two steps forward, one step back

I had a little jealousy this week, but I attribute it to finals stress. Mike had plans to fire cup someone at a fetish party. Ordinarily it would be no big deal and I’d be fine, and if it had been private plans I might have felt different, but I was feeling stressed and vulnerable so the thought of watching him play with someone else was really stressful for me. I had been feeling insecure because I was depressed all week and misinterpreting Mike’s general tiredness as him not wanting to be around me. It was just a confluence of minor things that made me feel jealous, and I’m hoping that this isn’t how things are going to be again.

I hung out with my own outside partner today and had a good time. Coming home to Mike after seeing someone else is always nice. I have fun, but then I am glad to see him. He’s still the person I want to live with and spend my life with, and being reminded that non-monogamy doesn’t change that is always good for me. That’s a point I’ve made before on this blog, but it’s something that I always notice.

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