It says something bad about my past relationships that I still expect that if I say “I know we planned on doing [sexual activity], but I’m not feeling it right now. Can we do [platonic activity] instead and do [sexual activity] another time?” it will be met with whining and complaining or needling or guilt trips. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t sleep with people like that anymore. The fact that right now I have more than one partner who responds to that with “Of course. Why don’t we also do [other platonic activity]” and doesn’t punish me or make a big deal out of it is blowing my mind. In a good way.