I think a lot about what makes me happy. The way I relate to happiness — with gratitude and a little fear — has been influenced by depression. I feel like if I can just figure out the formula to happiness I’ll never be depressed again. I know that’s not true, but I do think that making my life work the way I want it can help.
Right now, my formula for a happy life includes work, but not too much. If I could, I would work part-time for the rest of my life. Then, I need a good amount of social time with friends, but again, too much of that and I feel like I’m spread too thin. Having secondary partners helps this, because it’s social but not overwhelmingly so. I also need plenty of time with Mike, and I like it spread between getting out and doing things and enjoying a quiet domesticity between us. Then I need time alone to read and blog and watch TV and do solitary hobbies.
This weekend, I’ve had a good mix of all of these things, which is good, since I’ve been feeling burned out lately. I had some work to do, but I also had a four-day weekend to spread it out over. Friday Mike and I went to a big barbecue at a friend’s place and were social. Saturday we went to lunch together and then took the dog on a hike. After that we relaxed together for the rest of the day. Yesterday I had a lot of time to myself and I divided it between working on actual work and on hand-making holiday gifts. Today, I have work to do, but I’m also managing to have a play date with another partner, have a big, homemade breakfast with Mike and watching “Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries” on Netflix.
I’ve had a fantastic weekend and feel refreshed. But I’m still a bit overwhelmed with school, so I know that I’m going to have to try harder to balance things when school starts again tomorrow.