Putting non-monogamy in its place

I rarely blog about my exploits with partners other than Mike. He jokes that it makes it sound like our relationship is lopsided and that he’s having sex all the time and I’m sitting at home. That’s not the case, but for a while I was disinterested in seeing anyone else, and even when I do I don’t always have anything to say about it.

Friday night Mike and I went to a Halloween party and I got spanked, and then yesterday I spent time with a guy that whom I used to do BDSM scenes with semi-regularly. He’s a close friend of Mike and I. We chatted about mutual friends, then did an impact play scene, and then ate Chinese food and cuddled and watched TV for a couple of hours. It was great! And then I decided that I had so much fun with someone else I didn’t love Mike anymore or feel attracted to him. Oh wait, that last part didn’t happen. Mike thinks that when I have fun with someone else, it’s good for my jealousy because I realize that it doesn’t change my feelings for him and so it won’t for him either. And it’s true that last night I had a blast and still was excited to come home to Mike and wouldn’t change our relationship for the world. He’s meeting a girl for coffee or drinks or something later this week, and I hope I can carry that lesson with me.

I think when I was depressed, non-monogamy became something weird and scary and big. Part of my healing process is putting it back in its rightful place as something normal and fun and happy. After my date-thing, Mike and I had a great evening. We made brownies and watched Futurama and then cuddled in bed and talked. I aspire to that same level of normalcy and OK-ness the next time he goes out with someone else.


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